“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” – Henry Ford
Studies suggest that you’re the average of the 5 people you hang around with most. If this is true, are the friends you hang out with regularly, really the people you aspire to be like? It may be time to separate from certain friends or minimize the time spent with them, especially if you want to expand and grow for the better. Your friends may be toxic to your future. If they are doing anything other than adding value to your life, you should really get thinking because chances are likely, they’re holding you back. It’s about time to become aware and ask yourself, are your friends lifting your spirit, or are they consistently leaning on you and unfortunately bringing you down to their level. The difference between the 2 types of “friends” is drastic to your success.
Lifters Will Encourage You To Succeed
Lifters are the people who will encourage you to do what you have a deep ambition for. They will support you to build the life you’ve always dreamed of. They should be benefiting you by positively influencing you in the right way. Lifters can usually encourage you because they’re happy with themselves and are consistently trying to better their own lives. They are usually considered change agents and understand to get ahead in life, you must change. These are the friends who aren’t always just talking about the parties; they’re the ones talking about getting into shape, getting a better job, and ultimately having a better life.
Leaners Discourage and Hold You Back from Change
Leaners are usually afraid of change. They’re the people who are scared to get out of their comfort zones and as a result, once they see you bettering your life, will unconsciously try to bring you back down to what they know as comfortable and normal to them. Leaners are afraid to see you progress because they don’t want you to leave them. If your friends are saying “forget going to the gym, hang out and have a couple more drinks with us”, chances are, they’re negatively impacting your success. So if you dare to succeed, they will not be too enthusiastic and unfortunately they will try and persuade you to thinking that change is a bad thing. Their intention is that they don’t want to lose a friend, but they are wrongfully being selfish. Again, just be aware and choose people you will spend the most time with wisely.
The Perfect Hollywood Example: Damon & Affleck
Childhood friends Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are the perfect examples of how a friendship is supposed to be. When Affleck got ahead in his career, he did not gain a big head and Damon did not become envious or jealous; rather they became super supportive and helpful towards one another, guiding each other to succeed. This is the kind of friendship that is extremely healthy as you get the opportunity to learn and grow together. Ironically, they both got there big break at the same time when they wrote and acted in Good Will Hunting. They each received an Academy Award for Best Screenplay and Matt Damon was even nominated for a Best Actor award. Affleck and Damon have both not only helped each other become successful, but have remained great friends throughout their careers.
Lifters Get Excited & Enthusiastic About Your Achievements
Lifters become excited and happy to see you progress. They may even gain inspiration from you when they see you achieving and conquering. They are the friends telling you “After seeing your results at the gym, I think you’ve given me the boost to start working out too”. Notice that the lifters will always compliment you, even on just small accomplishments. These types of people are very healthy to be around and they will most certainly brighten and better your future. They usually get motivated when they see you bettering yourself and are always hoping for you to reach your goals. These are the true friends who you can have long conversations with about how good life is, without bringing up anything to complain about.
Leaners Are Complainers And Can Be Envious Of Your Success
Leaners quickly become fearful when you succeed. They will justify as to why or how you did something. When leaners see you prosper, they will quickly find and associate a negative reason as to why it happened. They are constant complainers who converse regularly about how hard their life is, so that others feel sorry for them. Being around complainers will definitely effect your thinking and alter your mood. People and energy alike are very contagious, so too much time spent with this leaner and before you know it, your day becomes a write off. Again, choose wisely.
Realistically speaking, most of us have a mixture of both types of “friends”, some lifters, others leaners. Its about being aware and knowing what intentions and motives are behind them. Some so-called friends may be completely infectious and you should probably realize that their not actually friends who want the best for you. If so, get rid of them or cut down the time you spend with them. You will notice changes taking place in your life almost instantly. Try and associate yourself with people who are encouraging you to succeed at your dreams rather then shatter them.